Wherein I reverse all previous rantings and ravings about my baby girl

I feel like I've made Abigail out to be an unreasonable and difficult baby girl. If I've done that, I've been honest. Her challenging- temperament? was first revealed when we took that seven-week-old baby to Holden Beach last summer. Long hours in the car, a dwindling milk supply, crazy people peering inches away from her face all day long- just kidding, who knows what it was that flipped that switch, but that tiny girl screamed and screamed and screamed. Her best console was being rocked almost violently.

We've weathered a child who is the worst eater I could imagine, an eight-time-a-night waker, and when she finally made it mostly through the night, she'd wake early and take short naps during the days. She was IRRITABLE, rough with Jack and everybody. I might use the word brutal. She would constantly get into off-limits things or take Jack's toys to hit him with them and was unresponsive to any kind of discipline (what's appropriate for a thirteen-, fourteen-month-old, anyway?) I went to bed exhausted from refereeing the kids and just listening to a constant whiny cry starting at 5 pm every day. EVERY bedtime was met with an angry scream. What's more, she climbs everything and her staggering sleep deprivation caused her staggering skinny body to fall ALL of the time. So she was covered with bumps and bruises.

We tried so many different things with her- moving bedtime up an hour and half, being super-consistent with her schedule, watching her diet for allergies, anything we thought might have a chance of making her a happier child. I perused books like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, The Discipline Book, Attachment Parenting, Dare to Discipline, parts of The Happiest Baby on the Block. Not this girl.

But I can say all of these terrible, nasty things about my daughter now because I'm about to shower upon her loads of praise. The child has changed in the past three weeks. She's a delight. There are a number of things that could have made the difference, besides it just happening on its own time, as I kept praying might happen sooner than later. She's started talking a lot more. Maybe she's psyched she can now readily communicate and her demands are met ever so much sooner? Perhaps she's excited about eating ALL by her self, just like her big brother Jack (even full bowls of cereal with milk)? Maybe the exerted effort on her parents' part to keep the schedule really as consistent as possible-- including only three nursings a day and never right before bedtime-- and enforcing a morning naps finally paid off. Who knows? Who cares?


I have never snuggled a baby as much as in these past few weeks. She'll grab her blanket- "mimeh"- and come to just cuddle up on my lap. She's never wanted to do that before. I remember my joy when I found out we were having a girl, thinking how much more gentle she would be after experiencing a boy's mostly brutal touch. I'm finally seeing that gentleness in her. I don't know how to describe her change in personality, but she's just ever so much more pleasant. Even her tone of voice and her body-language have changed from loud, grating and tense to soothing, pleasing and relaxed. And she actually obeys most of the time now when we make requests of her- like to take toys back to Jack that she takes or to not climb up the back of the couch or onto the table.

We all sleep better now. As soon as we finish our bedtime routine, she almost reaches for her crib, then smiles up at us and blows a kiss once there- silent when we leave the room. She sleeps straight through the night, eleven plus hours, takes a 30 minute to one hour morning nap and a 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hour-long afternoon nap with Jack and eats like a normal, growth-spurting toddler. Really better than average. She actually has a tummy now, which is kind of startling- but isn't that normal? She was starting to look emaciated, though every little morsel we managed to sneak into her screaming-in-protest mouth was nutritionally chock-full of value. Now she asks for more at every meal and requests food between meals by going and sitting in her chair or going to the cabinets or fridge. I think we're running a buffet. She hasn't eaten in months- what do I expect?

I have to write all of this down for my own sake, for years to come when I have another trying child and need a glimpse of hope. And I tend to glaze over everything in the past with petunias, so maybe this will help me to retain some reality. I really am glad that our Missy Boo Boo has been every bit as stubborn and resistant as she has been for thirteen or so months (starting at seven weeks- she's now almost 16 months)-- even if this was just a psych-out and she reverts back to her NuttiGail ways in a week or two. She's still strong-willed, hard-headed, whatever you call it, and I'm certain she will be for the rest of her life- I don't really see anything wrong with that. The change seemed to be taking the edge off of that, along with so much more, not having to do with stubborness. It may sound trite, but so be it-- I feel like I have learned so much from her about how to be a mom (and to be a less-judgmental mom), and I feel empowered to deal with with whatever comes our way- baby-wise. I can still hold onto the hope that she will be the most difficult. I'm glad she's here now and not at the fifth or sixth, you know? God knows what He's doing in this matter of children (and in all things), which is why we'll continue to leave that (and try to leave everything else) entirely up to the One who knows.