Open Studio 18

"Roma"

getting there...

That left bottom side of the tree is often visited by small hands. I don't know why I bothered with the ribbon... I've put it back so many times :) It is two days before Christmas. It certainly doesn't feel like it. Besides it being downright balmy outside, Advent, like everything, seemed to be put on hold two+ weeks ago. But we are slowly trying to get back into some normalcy and cultivate an atmosphere of joy for Christmas. Mike was off today, and I had a dentist appointment this morning. I ended up talking to our dentist about Roma, and in the end, we shared a hug. He had lost his 24-year-old brother four years ago and understood the pain that comes especially this time of year, when you just want to tell your loved ones how much you love them. I feel saddest thinking about my parents and what they are going through right now. I hardly ever saw Roma, but it still hurts so much sometimes to know that we will never see that bright-hearted boy again. At least not this side of heaven.

After my appointment this morning, I went to Target to pick up a few last things and thought maybe I should get some boxed mix to make sugar cookies. And a container of holiday frosting. The kids had been asking to make a gingerbread house, like we usually do. Or cookies. Or something. But I am glad I came across a gingerbread cookie kit, because even boxed cookies seemed too stressful right now. It ended up being a cute and very low stress activity- and seemed to pacify their need to make something, whatever, festive.



Need some help getting into the Christmas spirit? This little snippet might help.

We are blessed!

flying home for Roma

(Please forgive me that this is repetitive and doesn't flow well- I've written it over several days and am still just utterly tired.)

Two weeks ago, on St. Nicholas Day, we went out to eat. I'd left my phone at home because I couldn't find it. When we got home, we put the kids to bed, and I wrote a blog post for St. Nicholas Day before putting on my bathrobe, where I found my phone in the pocket. When I turned it on, I saw all of the texts, the prayer requests, the awful news of what had happened to Roma while he was at work, almost ready to go home for the day. But he never would return to his earthly home.

Last week was one of sleeplessness, of little appetite, of tears, of questions, of sorrow. But seeing my family last Saturday night was the beginning of healing for me. My parents are the most amazing people I know. I have always known their faith to be strong, but the faith and love I witnessed in them as they retold of the incidents of the past week and God's plan for Roma's life seemed insurmountable. I watched them both stand at Roma's Celebration of Life on Monday and speak through tears of the privilege they had in raising him, of the gift God gave us in knowing him, of the ways God worked through Roma and continues to work in him. Of course, there were were many laughs as well, and Roma was laughing along with us, I'm sure. I'm sure he has relished being the topic of everyone's conversation this past almost two weeks. As the pastor noted on Monday, Roma was not known for his humility, and he loved to be the center of attention :^) He also knew how to push everyone's buttons. But that charm he possessed... you couldn't help but love him anyway.

We couldn't help be recount all of the special gifts leading up to Roma's death- the fact that all of us were home at Thanksgiving, as he rarely seemed to be home when we visited, that he was home for the past seven weeks of his life, giving my parents some quality time with him... When we got news of his passing, it had only been a week since we'd seen him last. And though we didn't know it would be the last, our goodbyes to him when we left Maryland after Thanksgiving were fresh and sweet in our memories.

It is never a happy time when tragedies befall us, but it was a huge blessing to be reunited with people I haven't seen in many years, and to meet people I had heard of only through Roma stories (there are so many Roma stories). Seeing the line wrapped around inside and out of the funeral home (during both two-hour visitation times) on Monday was a witness to his life- of the love he shared with so many. And there were those on the other side of the world, also mourning his loss, this boy with whom they had hoped to be reunited one day. It was an especially nice show of support and love to have our friends (Toby's godparents) come all the way from Pittsburgh for his Celebration of Life and our friends from college come down from Hanover for the visitation. Some other friends (Opal's godparents) came and brought some fun activities to occupy our kids during the visitation and the lunch on Monday so that we could visit with people. And my parents' generous neighbors kept us all fed and even took our kids off our hands for a while one day. We have some amazing friends.

The kids had never flown before, so they enjoyed that. Our flights to and from MD were about half empty, and the back of the planes, which we had chosen for our blocks of seats, were even emptier. The flight attendants on our way out told the kids they could each have their own row to lie down in and brought us all kinds of snacks (though they didn't give any to the other passengers), which made the trip as enjoyable as it could have been. Mike put some cool drawing app on his tablet and let the kids take turns with that.

We are exhausted from the past couple of weeks, but have been so grateful for the outpouring of prayers, cards, emails, and shows of love during this time. Roma will be greatly missed, but as my mom so eloquently said, we are filled with joy and in awe of what Roma meant to so many people.

We are blessed!

earth has no sorrow that heaven can't heal

Here is the slideshow that was playing during Roma's visitation on Sunday night (featuring some of Roma's favorite songs). (Some of the pictures throughout are Roma's biological family in Russia.)

I know many of you have read my mom's book about how Roma came into our lives fourteen+ years ago, but if you haven't, it is only $1.99 to download for the rest of the month. And if you haven't heard the story of how we came into contact with his birth family from Russia/Georgia almost a year ago now, her blog posts will give you chills. It's an amazing God story. As Roma's whole life was.

Thank you all for your kind words and gestures, your hugs and prayers, your shared tears and stories this past week+. We have felt a huge amount of love. And we have seen how hugely Roma was loved - how hugely Roma LOVED. We are heartbroken. But we feel so blessed that we had him for a time. That God shared this light of a boy with us!

Love you, Roma.

Yesterday, we lost my dear brother, Roma. He sustained severe brain injuries after falling from a ladder at work on Sunday and passed yesterday morning.

Everybody loved Roma. He was a light that seemed to shine a little brighter than the rest. He had a huge, most loveable personality, and I feel so blessed that God chose him for our family, that we got to be a part of his beautiful but abbreviated story here on earth. He touched the lives of so many in that time. And we will cherish the memories he left us always. His is a light that can never be extinguished.

Love you, Roma! <3

Saint Nicholas Day

Mom and Dad "forgot" to have the kids put out shoes last night, so it was nice of St. Nicholas to provide some new slippers for all of the kids (Now, if they'll only wear them around this cold house!), along with a book and some chocolate coins and candy canes. And we read about this loving patron saint of children.

In keeping with the generosity of today's celebrated saint, we had bought some items to go into shoeboxes to gift to less fortunate children. So the kids got to work, filling their boxes with gloves, toothbrushes and toothpaste, chapstick, books, crayons and pencils, and some toys. Then they each made a sweet card to go in their box, and I wrapped them up and labeled them with the intended age and gender so we can drop them off this week. It's a small act, but it will hopefully bring some joy to some children who need it this Christmas. And it's a great and simple way to teach kids about giving- we had a great opportunity to do this today when one little girl was in tears when she discovered she was not the recipient of the Frozen dolls set or the other items in her shoebox. Just look up shoebox giving in your area. The kids were put in the giving spirit last week when they dropped off a big pile of new toys in the Toys for Tots box at swim lessons. Toys for Tots boxes are everywhere. I buy toys on sale throughout the year for this purpose (like the Frozen dolls I nabbed for $5 and $6). Thank you, Saint Nicholas, for your example of selfless giving!

I had a special treat last night: I got to attend Mass ALL BY MYSELF! Opal was sick, and Toby was under the weather as well, so we figured we would split up so we wouldn't have to take them and hang out in the narthex for the entire service. And since Mike and the big kids had to go out for Religious Ed this morning anyway, the four of them went to Mass this morning. The homily, as always when I pray for a personal message, spoke right to me. It was on preparing the way for the Lord, specifically, making rough and winding paths smooth and straight. And since rough and bumpy roads have been repeated in my spiritual life lately (in fact, I was just telling my old RCIA instructor about this very thing), don't you think that was thoughtful of God to be so plain and clear in His message last night? Especially when my brain is as shot as it's been lately. Like a very small child, it needs frequent repetition ;^P Thank you, God, for your ever-living Word in our lives.

"John went throughout the whole region of the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, as it is written in the book of the words of the prophet Isaiah: A voice of one crying out in the desert: 'Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight his paths. Every valley shall be filled and every mountain and hill shall be made low. The winding roads shall be made straight, and the rough ways made smooth, and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.'"

We usually get our tree on Gaudete Sunday (next weekend), but we decided that, for our sanity's sake, we would jump the gun and get it this weekend. Next weekend is chocked-full of Christmas program practice, a work holiday party (adults only... ooooooh!), Mass, the kids' Christmas program, the kids' homeschool Christmas program, and everyday busyness with five children.... Woohoo! Mike and Jack went to get the tree yesterday afternoon. And we decorated it this afternoon, to boot. Actually, I decorated it and Iris and Abigail helped while Mike worked on cleaning out his office. This, my friends, is the best gift Mike could give me, I think. Square footage is going out of our house. I'm giddy with excitement. Wheeeeeeeee!!!

Saint Nicholas, patron saint of children, pray for us!