a new heartbeat

A few days after Christmas, we got a little surprise. Last month, we all piled in the small, bright room, and Mike and I asked the kids if they knew why they were there (We hadn't told them a thing). "We're going to hear something," I told them. "Something very small." ... "A heartbeat." They didn't understand. The doctor came in, and we listened as she searched for our new baby's heart. I held my breath and waited for the quick pitter-patter above my own thump-thump. She found it very quickly, but it was gone again in a flash. "It swam away," she said. After a few wiggling away episodes, she isolated the quick beat, and I watched Jack's face as the realization of what he was listening to sank in. He giggled. I laughed with him.

This afternoon, appropriately on the Feast of the Annunciation of the Lord (which also happened to be Jack's due date), we had the opportunity to take all of the kids to an ultrasound to see if they were having yet another sister or a brother. Within the first few seconds of probing my abdomen, the technician had zeroed in and announced we were having a boy! I laughed (and cried) for that, too. We were all excited, but Jack was ecstatic: "I'm having a new baby brother!!!" We spent the next twenty minutes entranced by the darling little movements of our sweet baby boy. He was quite a squirmer, arching his back, playing with the umbilical cord, kicking his legs up. Another precious gift.

I'm always caught off guard a bit by the "Was this planned?" question (I got this at a confirmation appointment in January). I'm certain God has a plan with all of the life he creates, even the lives that depart this earth at such a young age. Not everyone welcomes God's plan, but we certainly do (I'm not saying that God's plan for everyone is to be open to life whenever, but it is a sad thing that when life is created, it is not always welcomed). Other than really hoping to conceive soon after we were married, Mike and I have not "planned" any of our pregnancies. But that doesn't mean that we weren't overcome with joy with the thought that God entrusted us with yet another life. In fact, I can't imagine laying out a better design for our family. So it's a good thing I'm not in charge.

I have been trying to offer any pain or discomfort I've been feeling during this pregnancy as prayers for the people we know who have been experiencing miscarriage and/or infertility. I have learned so much about faith and love and endurance despite suffering from those individuals. And I am so thankful to have those strong women and men in my life.


"Do not think, he says, that you are destined for easy struggles or unimportant tasks." ~Saint John Chrysostum


Our little guy--

Look at that noggin!